Letter to Lia - 1 Week Old Today!

Dear Lia,

You are one week old today! I can’t believe it. Time has been flying by. I can already not imagine life without you. We were very lucky to have your grandma and my mom here to help us. She helped make the transition – me to being a mother, and you to being a baby (as the doctor kept saying, just over one week ago, you were still just a fetus) – smoothly.

You are an incredibly easy baby. You almost never cry. You look at everybody with your blue eyes and they fall in love with you. Evolution did a good job with making babies lovable, but you are especially lovable. The midwife says that we are doing an amazing job breast feeding and you easily gained back your weight. (I will tell you a secret though – I have no idea what I am doing, so you get all the credit.) She also says that you are already getting a bottom and developing your curves.

The nights have been long, but not even too hard. You wake up and want to eat, need to be changed, and like to be held. Today you were very alert during the day, so maybe you will go easy on me tonight!

I love holding you and watching your face change expressions. You are a master of facial expressions, smiling one moment, grimacing the next, then yawning (when you yawn you look like a turtle). You also move your arms all the time.

Your daddy also loves you very much. He thinks that you are so smart that you are ready to play catch. He is especially good at calming you down when you have indigestion. (I think this might be a family calamity.) We found out that the two of you have the same little indentation next to your ears.

It amazes me that you developed out of a microscopic sperm and egg. Then you grew in my stomach nine more months, and here you are. You are doing such a good job entering the world. (I know it must have been pretty traumatic.)

I love you forever and more than I could ever express Lia.

Your Mommy.

Birth Story (Warning - may be graphic)

Here I am during labor - very attractive.



Here I am the same day after labor - I am totally out of it, but doing much better.

Lia Grace took her time coming to the world. She was due on April 15th but finally made an appearance on the morning of April 23rd. Here is the story.

April 22nd was a beautiful day. My mom and I spent the morning walking and eating delicious food. I took a few hours to paint "Red Fish" for Lia´s room and felt like I was having contractions most of the day. (The Braxton Hicks kind). Jan came home (exhausted) and we had lentil casserole for dinner.

Then mom and I decided to take a walk down to the ice cream shop. (at about 7:30pm) I had almond and she had Raffaello (named after a coconut flavored candy). As I was about to start on my latte machiatto (yes, I drank too much caffiene during my pregnancy), I felt a gush of warm fluid. My first thought was - did I just pee. My second thought was...there is a puddle of fluid forming under me, how embarrasing.

I called Jan and told him to bring me my emergency change of clothing (which I had been faithfully toating around with me, but left at home that night.) After a few attempts at standing up - more fluid came out every time, I managed to get to the bathroom and change. By the time I was out a taxi arrived and my mom and I headed to the hospital. Jan went to get the supplies.

I still thought that it may be a false alarm - but sure enough . it was the amniotic fluid and it was gushing. The contractions were coming - but the midwife thought that they "were not the the real thing" and told me that I should walk around. She checked Jan and I into a room where we could sleep and rest up for the labor. Jan decided to hang out there, while my mom and I met Cheryl and Jane to get some walking in.

We walked around the block and by then (very quickly) the contractions felt like "someone shoving a knife into my stomach." Basically they were horrendously painful. In between I was ok though. So I walked and then slumped against any available wall during the contractions. We got around the block and sat on the steps. Drunk people and students road their bikes by us, and the high light was being offered, in slurred English, a cigarette. I turned it down.

Then mom said good night, and Cheryl and Jane escorted me to my room. Jan was there and I told him that I didn´t think we were going to get much rest as I flung my self on the floor and moaned in pain. (really). Then a midwife came and measured my contractions some more. After maybe an hour and a check she determined that my cervix actually was closing with each contraction and that Lia was facing forward and jamming her forehead into my pelvic bone with each contraction. She recommended an epidural. We wanted to avoid all needles, so asked for a second opinion. The midwife didn ot appreciate this, but she did say we could try out the birthing tub. (that was the closest I got to my dream of a water birth) After writhing around in the water for a while, we decided that this really was not helping anything, and that we would go ahead and get the epidural.

This was pretty traumatic (think catheter in your spinal cord), although I agree that it was for the best.

As the epidural was being adminstered I started shaking uncontrallably - this continued for the next several hours. The midwife even tried to stop it by sticking a needle in my head (yes, accupunture - I was really not into the needle in the head thing)

Unfortunately, the epidural did not do much for the pain and in fact half of my body was totally uneffected. The other half did feel numb for a while, but the pain quickly came back. After another dosage of drugs, there was still no change.

Then, to continue the medication trend, they gave an IV pain killer. This was great, not because it got rid of any pain - but as I read somewhere - the pain mattered a bit less and in between contractions I could relax much more. This was also the most productive part of the labor (prob from 4am to 6).

Around 5 the midwife said she was getting a coffee and the shift would change soon - someone would check on us in 30 min. or so. This was a bit upsetting given the excrutiating pain and the fact that I felt like was dying - ok, enjoy your coffee while I lie here suffering.

Then the new team showed up, checked me, and I was 10 centimeters dilated. The baby was ready to come. They disconnected me from everything, and Jan and I tried out a variety of labor positions. Standing, hanging, sitting up, moving around. It worked, and after pushing very hard for what felt like a long time, Lia came out. It hurt a lot, but knowing the pushing actually would end the pain and that my baby was coming, but it much easily.

I am not (too) ashamed to say that I screamed a lot and made a ruckus. I had been training for months while pooping, so I was ready for it. (As Jane says, I need to eat more fiber).

At 8:13 am. Lia showed up, not very wrinkly, and incredibly alert. They laid her on my chest immediately - she looked and me and her daddy, and did not cry at all. After about 10 minutes she breast fed for the first time and was already a pro.

I was shocked to find that she was not a giant baby like I had been and the ultrasounds had forecasted, but actually fairly average sized. She weighed a bit over 8 pounds. All of the baby clothes we have are too big!

The new family

Lia Grace - Born April 23rd

We waited



And waited



And a baby was born!

1 Day Past Due Date

and still no baby.

Everything is well, the baby and I are both healthy, but it has decided to stay put for now. We are really hoping that it decides to make a move before Easter vacation is over and everybody has to go back to work (that is, everybody but me) but the baby is not being cooperative. So everyday we are hoping the baby decides to come (but I also am secretly happy that I did not have to go through labor!)

I am having a lot of contractions, but they are not really painful and obviously are not especially productive. The doctor tells me that I should come in every two days, and then in ten days things are out of her hands. I think this is a nice way to say, you will go to the hospital and be induced. VERY much hope it does not come to that.

We are very lucky to be having a spring baby, the trees have been blooming, there are tulips everywhere and the world looks very pretty. We have been able to grill and hang out on the balcony for about two weeks now, and it is great!

Verrrrrrry Pregnant - 38.5 weeks

Belly at 38.5 weeks. I have been lucky as far as stretch marks go, but do have two lovely purple ones courtesy of my belly ring compromised derma in the belly button region.

So...there is my giant pregnant belly for those of you who have been eager to see it. I am fairly sure that the baby in there weighs over 10 pounds and I am looking forward to its exit from my body. Although I have been enjoying my new status as an obviously VERY pregnant woman (this means that people offer me seats, stare at me in wonder, and ask me what the hell I am doing still commuting to work), I am getting restless regarding sleepless nights, not being able to get off the couch, having trouble tying my shoes, constantly having to pee, being punched in the sides by the baby, etc.

That said, I don´t really want to give birth. I would rather just fall asleep and magically wake up to my baby, outside of my body. Ideally with no visible damage to my body and 25 extra pounds gone. Hey, I can dream.

When I am not busy dreaming, I am getting ready for a hopefully drugless, natural child birth. We will see how that goes in actual practice, but there is no way I am willingly letting anyone put a needle in my spine, nor do I want an IV, nor do I want to end up with a lethargic baby. I had an unfortunate Noro - virus incident a few weeks ago and the resulting hospitalization confirmed that doctors are not capable of putting IVs into my apparently oh so delicate veins. I was stuck a total of 6 times and had 3 veins give out (they stopped "working" resulting in massive bruising and pain.) Luckily the German midwives seem to be very pro natural childbirth and encourage birth without intervention, so I am in the right place. (Although my motives may not be so pure.)

Progress Towards Birth

For those of you who know technical words - I am partially effaced - 1cm left. The head is engaged in the pelvis, and all things point go. So the baby is ready to come anytime. On the other hand, there is no guarantee that it won´t decide to baste in the comfort of my womb for another 2.5 weeks.

Other big news is that today was my last day of work!!! Now I have no excuse not to do the laundry, clean the house, finish my Dr. Suess paintings, eat healthy food, go for walks, and basically become an improved person. Darn. But I will get a lot more sleep, be less stressed out, and take great pleasure in my "vacation."

Another wonderful thing is that the sun has been out, the flowers are blooming, and spring time has come. April is a wonderful month to have a baby. Hopefully the weather will hold for another few weeks and shortly the baby and I will be chilling on the balcony, drinking fruit smoothies together.