On Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is a great joy, but also a great challenge. Little did I know, 3 months ago, that I would be able to squirt milk, out of my boob, clear across the room. This is quite a talent - and was a shock - the first time I did it.

Lia and I had little trouble getting started. Once she came out, my body was free territory, and the senior midwife stuck my boob in her mouth and off we went. Our midwife said that we were naturals and we should teach other woman. Great.

At that point, little did I know, that Lia would assert her own opinion about that whole thing, and torture me at will.

Here's what happens. Lia goes on a hunger strike. My boobs hurt. Lia gets hungry. Much awkward positioning and crying follows and ...

somehow I find myself sticking my boob in front of Lia's mouth, in the middle of a traffic jam, in a tunnel, not really caring when my sister points out the old man in the next car checking things out. Unfortunately, the body contortions and shamelessness did not pay off, and Lia gave me a look that said - what are you doing to me, get that thing out of my face, and punctuated it with some crying. That is the first in long string of what the hell moms.

Lia and I are living in the lap of luxury at my parents house, where we usually recline on the bed, and Lia can eat at her leisure. I think this is bad training, because next time we are jambed in an airplane bathroom, standing against a wall in a dark corner, or hiding in Lia's UV beach tent, Lia will turn her head in disdain as if to say, forget it, find me a double bed with 400 thread Egyptian cotton sheets, gently position me on my side, position yourself just so, allow me to ponder it for a while and then MAYBE, I will eat, stopping my hysterical crying and your chest pains.

Despite the challenges, breastfeeding is a bonding experience, and a joy, and a miracle of biology, and yes, I will really miss it when I am sitting in a cramped bathroom at work hooked to a pump, and of course, best of all, it is free.