I have found that the default in Germany is to assume that Jan and I are not married, rather than that we are. This is especially surprising when it comes from doctors - who you would think would be more tactful.
It has happened twice so far, with two different doctors. (Jan accompanies me to the doctor to facilitate the communication)
Lesson learned - we have to introduce each other as my husband or my wife.
I think the reason for the mistake is that fewer and fewer Germans are getting married - especially at my age. The ripe age of 26 isn't exactly old - but it not shockingly young either as far as marriage goes.
Interesting statistics:
only 1 in 10 women having a baby in her 20s is married
only 1 in 4 women having a baby in her 30s is married
That is pretty drastic.
Of course Germans are having fewer and fewer children and I have read newspaper reports that the country is hitting the point of no return - when population can no longer sustain itself and in fact will continuously decrease. I believe the point of no return is .8 births per person. In fact, Germany has the lowest birthrate in Europe.
I have also put my foot in my mouth a few times assuming women in their thirties with children are married.
I just have to remind myself - the default expectation needs to be - no partner until tactfully proved otherwise.
1 comment:
I'm actually a bit surprised. My (German) husband and I have different last names and we seem to be always taken as married. But, thinking about it, because we do have last names I became very accustomed in the States to introducing him as my husband. We also have rings on, but here they are on the wrong hand, of course.
However, I actually think it very nice of Dr's etc to not assume that one is married. Because while easy enough to correct if one wishes to, if one is not married perhaps it is a bit hurtful to have to always point that out. Also, I really prefer when I am not automatically addressed as Frau "his last name".
I actually thought that the "native" birth rate in Italy was lower than it is in Germany, but perhaps I am wrong?
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